Thursday, November 23, 2006
heng:
I don't care about consequences anymore, this is a free society, i have my freedom of speech. If you're reading, all the better. But if you're not, its fine, i have already vented ALL my anger.I just found what i've wanted, a moment of kay-po-ness is what made me began the search. Its bloody exciting and disappointing at the same time to find what you've really desired, i found it and i read it. And now, my mind's totally blank. Sooner or later, people are gonna know what i'm talking about, freak you.. i don't care
That person wrote that its only a kind of responsibility to reply those who've "messaged" you, its a responsibility because you don't know that person, and you have absolutely no interest in knowing that person. But at the same time, you feel that you have to reply and give some attention because after all, you're being responsible. Right, what a fucking responsible person you are, "friend", aww.. what to say, i appreciate you being such a responsible person. That person went on to elaborate about how sad it is that you can't wholly write all your thoughts on your blog because unwanted people are reading, you never know, its like infringing on that person's territory.
"friend", since you're soulmates with that person, why can't you bloody hell learn something from that person and understand that you ARE the unwanted person and you once invaded my privacy? I know your brain's severely fermented but at least, try? I seriously don't think that you're sorry for everything, a word of "sorry" from you is worthless, it means nothing, that word from you is just like dirt on my shoes, its so fucking foul. I don't want it, and i don't think you fucking mean it. And, i'm not sorry either, i have said so much sorries that it mean nothing, if you're gonna think that " oh she's so drama, she said sorry to me so many times now she's schizo" , i was just trying to get back into your good books, that, i admit was my main intention. I thought maybe sorry could savage something, change some things but I never was once sorry for what i flamed you, i mean what i've said about you but not your friends, they're innocent. I'd better say it first before your friend start flaming me calling me rotten again because he got dragged in. Its just plain old you that i'm unhappy about. Those sappy sad sorries i've said to you, yeah it sure is sad but it meant nothing, i'm not bloody sorry at all.
I'm a petty fat arse, i don't forget nor do i forgive, that's what i am, i'm a rotten petty person. A leopard never changes its spots, i don't, if i'm petty and horrible then so be it. I don't see a need to change, not unless people like you are completely extinct. Oh.. but i think that's gonna be a fucking long time, ain't it? I think you're really contradicting you know, back then when the tagging was still goin on, you asked me to leave your friends alone and that you're solely responsible. Hell yes, i WOULD hold you, and only you solely responsible for everything. Because of your horrendously big mouth, you go wagging your tail, telling people to come here and read, wag your tail even more because you're happy that everyone's embarrassing me. Don't freaking deny that you didn't laugh about what has happened.
My 2 friends whom i'm sharing the blog with got dragged down, we get plagued with accusations saying we crave for attention because we blog, and you? you started it all because of word from your mouth. By the way, i have a hate site specially set up for me and jac. Do drop by if you're free. Anyways, you merely sat aside and looked over it, you didn't once ask them to stop and i doubt you would want it to stop anyway. These 2 friends have been with me since i was in primary 3, they mean as much to me as that person to you. Would you like me to flood that person's tagboard, and re-enact the whole scene? Wait, before you fucking brainlessly go call up that person to give warning, i'm not childish like you.. That person ain't worth my energy, and i would have been bored to death if i were to read that person's entries again. I don't degrade myself by tagging. Fret not, that person's very very safe, i don't hurt people around you to get to you, that's just wasting my time. But then again, you're probably gonna think that i'm jealous of you? hahaha..try harder to make me feel jealous of you, honestly!
You're probably gonna say i accuse you of everything you haven't done, but does it matter now? no, it doesn't. Like you said, you're solely responsible and i take your word for it. Seriously, you dunno the seriousness of everything. Everything may be over, but i'm still battling with it, battling with myself. No matter how big sized i am, i'm still a girl, no doubt. Sometimes i'm happy, laughing then suddenly reality just hit you in the face and you start to dwell on it over and over again. I desperately want to turn back time, but until the day i fully get over it, i shall learn to live with it. Perhaps when the day comes, i'll be a nicer and better person. But for now, i'm still rotten, vulgar old me, like it or not, its your business.
Threesome's company9:32 AM
